Duck Face
by natebuzolicious
Summary: Fang receives pictures of girls from his blog. And. He's. Horrified. My sad attempt at humor when bored. Rated M for explicit language.


**Duck Face Song**

**By: Minazuki Shihouin**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: Fang receives pictures of girls from his blog. And. He's. Horrified.**

**WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE IN SONG! **

Fang POV

2:00 AM in the morning. I couldn't help myself. Checking my blog was like an addiction that I couldn't stop. It simply wasn't possible for me to _not _see how many comments were posted on my recent day-to-day activities.

Sometimes, people posted pictures of themselves and asked if I had a girlfriend. I didn't reply; they were stupid. Max was my girlfriend. Um, _duh. _

Yeah, the only stupid stuff I allowed not to get totally under my skin, was Max's stupidness. So...

I logged into the laptop quietly, looking behind me once to make sure no one awoke at the brightly glowing screen. Clicking on the little Internet icon... typing the address into the URL bar... it was loading... YES! JACKPOT!

I clicked on my newest blog post that I posted a couple days ago about our trip at the beach somewhere on the East Coast.

_257 new comments_

I secretly smiled. I personally read through most of the comments. They were hilarious and I gave credit to those comments which I actually used. People can be _pretty _imaginative.

I clicked on the first comment and just browsed my way through with the blue up and down arrow.

And I immediately regretted it.

Another batch of lady photos loaded and I felt really awkward. I felt as if I was looking at porn or something. But that thought was quickly crushed as I looked at the typical, yet horrible faces of girls who were doing something similar to auctioning themselves to be my girlfriend. Yeah, I know I'm loved.

Another picture of something made me crinkle my nose. It was a pale girl with long emo (yeah, don't make fun of me) hair that had black streaks in it. The blonde was overcome with streaks of other colors as well. A piercing adorned her pink glossy lips which were curled into... well, whatever it was, it just reminded me of a duck.

_You're a beautiful girl, why the fuck are you making a duck face_

It didn't fit her very well. She looked like she was trying to hard to be someone she obviously wasn't. But the sad part was, was that she would look better if she was making that stupid face. It ruined the whole picture. It looked retarded.

_Thanks to you, I threw up, and I shit all over the fucking place_

I flipped to the next one and almost sighed out loud. It was basically the same exact thing. She was also pretty, with brown hair layered past her well-endowed chest, and her black makeup was smeared darkly over her surprisingly bright green eyes. But she was making the same exact face as the first one, and it made her look like a clown gone wrong.

_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_… Why you making that stupid Duck Face?_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_

Every picture I flipped through the girls all had the same face. Even the guy ones meant for Max. It made them look like desperate gay guys. Just because Max is 2% bird, does _not _mean she is attracted to other types of birds, including gay ducks.

_I don't know how this got started, but all you dumb bitches look fucking retarded_

How did this even get started? It was ugly! How could anyone think this is cute, or attractive?

_It's not beautiful, it's fucking horrible, so take your lips and put it back to normal_

What. Was. Wrong. With. These. People?

_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_… Why you making that stupid Duck Face?_

My face must have looked atrocious as I browsed through all the pictures. Okay, screw me personally looking all of them over and possible commenting on them. Maybe I should comment, 'STOP MAKING THAT HORRIBLE FACE. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A RETARD.'

_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face…_  
_… Why you making that stupid Duck Face?_

Perhaps I could start a little trend of people _not _twisting their lips?

_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face_  
_Duck Face…_

_Taking stupid pictures of yourself with a duck face, post it on Facebook and Myspace_

Oh yeah, I'm gonna stretch out my lips and make my eyes all wide so I look like an idiot! Yup, that looks good! Let's post it on Facebook and MySpace and some hot bird kid's poor blog for the world to see!

_So I can point and laugh laugh laugh at your stupid fucking duck face._

The last one made me laugh, I have to admit. The girl was laying on the floor, with her black and pink striped hair fanned around her, and her large cleavage was showing in the picture. She held a peace sign with her right hand next to her face which was heavily made up with white eyeshadow and black eyeliner. Her lips were a whopping raspberry red, and they were pulled out into a hilarious duck face. I actually laughed out loud.

I commented, 'LOL.' Yes, Fang the stoic bird kid who could be called 'emo' laughed at a picture and typed in teenage texting slang.

But still... I hope the duck face girl was offended. In fact, I hoped they were _all _offended.

The End

**Hey! This was a stupid (non-funny) oneshot made out of randomness and boredness so I kinda don't care if ya didn't like it! Review though! ;)**


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